Am. dram. atrocity

'THEY CAME FROM MARS AND LANDED OUTSIDE THE FARNDALE AVENUE CHURCH HALL IN TIME FOR THE TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD COFFEE MORNING', performed by The Boundary Players, at the William Penney Theatre, from May 15 to 19

The Farndale Avenue Ladies are known for their unbridled enthusiasm for the Dramatic Arts. Equally famous is their inability to learn lines, remember cues or even face the right way on stage. My opposite number, the reviewer of the 'Guildford Bugle', must approach each production with an air of great trepidation because for these ladies the words 'all right on the night' have no meaning. But our Man from the NWN was lucky; these Farndale Avenue Ladies were being deftly played by the members of Boundary Players. Fear not Editor, our man was in good hands.

To describe the plot would be to hijack this entire edition, but trust me, to mention tranquillisers, Martians, spaceships and a sponge cake recipe is only to scratch the surface. Add to this a song and dance routine and an upset stomach and we are still hovering on the periphery of the mayhem so skilfully brought to life by director Mary Robinson and her cast.

Being adeptly inept we had Mrs Reece (Pat Archer) so obviously part of England's backbone and perfectly hellish in pink polyester going on to be Professor Einstein (as played by Mrs Reece) complete with bald head and wandering moustache. Confused? You would have been if it hadn't all been such good fun!

The cast brought every cliché and am dram atrocity joyously to life. The French windows were missing from the set. Thelma (Anne Phipps) hopelessly, but deliberately, miscast as the juvenile lead and Gordon (Gary Scrivens) slipped perfectly into that acting nightmare, the dialogue loop from which there is no escape. Poor Norah (Alice Grundy) was inadvertently tranquillised and still managed to steal the show as Roberta the Robot which left Felicity (Davina Harris) to carry on as best she could with her head stuck inside a Martian space helmet.

When we were finally brought back to planet Earth you couldn't help but wonder if the universe would be a better place with more women in it like the Ladies of Farndale Avenue? Maybe not! But it's certainly a happier place thanks to groups like Boundary Players.

ASHLEY PEARCE